New lessons teach boys about power and responsibility not just strength

Boys are learning that power is more than just being strong or rich. They are taught that having influence means having a duty to be kind and fair.
By Newsroom | Education, Parenting |

Recent discussions highlight the need to educate boys about power, moving beyond simple notions of strength or wealth. Experts suggest that a more nuanced understanding of power, one that includes an awareness of power imbalances and the responsibilities that accompany influence, is crucial for raising well-adjusted individuals.

The Nature of Power and Influence

The concept of power is often misunderstood, limited to physical strength or financial resources. However, a deeper analysis reveals that power can stem from various sources:

  • Status and Authority: Positions of authority, whether in age, social standing, or professional roles, confer power.

  • Financial Resources: Wealth can be a significant source of influence and control.

  • Intoxication: A state of intoxication can alter perceptions and influence behavior, creating a different dynamic of power.

When any of these factors create an imbalance, such as an older person interacting with a younger one, or someone with authority dealing with a subordinate, the responsibility attached to that power increases. This means that those holding power have a greater duty to act ethically and considerately.

Unprocessed Emotions and Their Manifestations

When boys do not learn to process their emotions healthily, these feelings can manifest in detrimental ways. Unaddressed emotions are not erased but can instead surface through various behaviors:

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  • Self-Harm: Individuals may inflict harm upon themselves as an outlet for internal distress.

  • Contempt and Disrespect: Negative emotions can lead to showing disdain or lack of respect towards others.

  • Boundary Testing: Individuals might push or challenge limits, often testing the patience or rules set by others.

  • Blaming the Less Powerful: A common coping mechanism involves redirecting fault or blame onto those perceived as having less power or fewer resources.

This suggests that emotional literacy is a vital component of understanding and wielding power responsibly. Influence, in this view, is not a license to act without regard, but rather a significant responsibility.

Conversations on Gender, Stereotypes, and Power

The broader societal discourse, particularly amplified by movements highlighting issues like sexual harassment, has brought conversations about gender and power into the mainstream. This has prompted a closer examination of the messages children receive regarding gender roles and value.

  • Self-Reflection for Caregivers: Parents and guardians are encouraged to examine the verbal and non-verbal cues they send their children about women's value and common gender stereotypes.

  • Empathy Building: Children can be prompted to consider the experiences of others by imagining what it might feel like to be of a different gender.

  • Identifying Stereotypes: Teachable moments arise when stereotypes appear in media like films or books. Discussing these instances allows for challenging and correcting misconceptions.

These discussions aim to help children explore gender roles in a way that promotes empowerment and inclusivity, ensuring they understand power dynamics without reinforcing harmful stereotypes.

Expert Perspectives

The consensus among educators and child development specialists points to the importance of these conversations. As one perspective notes, "influence isn’t license; it’s responsibility." This highlights a core principle: the greater one's power, the greater the obligation to act with care and awareness. Another viewpoint emphasizes the need for adults to "Check yourself: what verbal and non-verbal messages are you sending your children about women and their value, and gender stereotypes in general?" This call for self-examination underscores the subtle yet significant ways caregivers shape a child's understanding of power and gender.

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Conclusion

The evidence suggests that teaching boys about power requires a multi-faceted approach. It involves:

  • Broadening the Definition of Power: Moving beyond physical or financial strength to include influence derived from status, authority, and even circumstances like intoxication.

  • Instilling a Sense of Responsibility: Equipping boys with the understanding that influence comes with a duty of care, especially in situations of power imbalance.

  • Promoting Emotional Intelligence: Helping boys to process and express emotions constructively to prevent negative outlets like self-harm or blaming others.

  • Challenging Gender Stereotypes: Engaging in open dialogues about gender roles and the value of all individuals, using media and everyday life as opportunities for discussion.

By integrating these elements into upbringing and education, the aim is to foster a generation that understands and wields power ethically and responsibly, recognizing that true influence lies not in dominance, but in considerate action and mutual respect.

Sources:

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Why is it important to teach boys about power in new ways?
Experts say boys need to learn that power is not just about being strong or rich. They must also understand the duties that come with having influence, which helps them become good adults.
Q: What are the different kinds of power boys are learning about?
Boys are learning that power can come from being in charge, having money, or even from being older or in a certain position. They learn that when one person has more power, they have a bigger duty to be fair.
Q: What happens if boys don't learn to handle their feelings well?
If boys don't learn to deal with their emotions, they might hurt themselves, be rude to others, or blame people who are weaker. Learning about feelings helps them use power the right way.
Q: How do these lessons help with ideas about boys and girls?
These lessons help children understand that boys and girls should be treated equally. They learn to think about others' feelings and to question old ideas about what boys and girls should do or be.
Q: What do experts say about teaching boys about power?
Experts agree that having influence means having a duty to act with care. They also say adults should check the messages they send children about different genders and their value.